First Responder Life
Working as a first responder is something that brings a sense of pride and honor for the individual serving as a firefighter, EMS professional, law enforcement officer, or dispatcher. There is an inherent feeling of being a part of something bigger than one's self. It feels like having a membership to an exclusive elite club, or a position in a sacred tribe, or belonging to a tight-knit family. Not everyone gets in. The perks are pretty nice. And, for the most part, the work is viewed as admirable by the general public.
For the loved ones of first responders, there is somewhat a feeling of belonging to this special club of public servants, but there is also a feeling of not quite belonging as well. Confusion, frustration, and anxiety are often the underlying feelings with families and friends. Never knowing if your loved one will come home at the end of the shift is nerve-wracking. Feeling neglected because of missed holidays, mandatory overtime shifts, poor pay, and the ever-changing mental landscape of their loved ones causes stress and strain. Sure, wearing the badge of being loved by a first responder comes with some special perks as well, but sometimes the perks don't seem worth it.
Working or volunteering in the industry in this day and age no longer carries the prestige or the glamour it once did. The dark side of the work will rear its' ugly head sooner rather than later. Animosity and malicious scrutiny from the public, poor support from local leaders, and visions of gruesome calls that come back to haunt them only add to the difficulty that these public servants and their loved ones endure. The burnout rate is high. Suicide attempts and deaths are skyrocketing. Addiction, depression, traumatic stress, and compassion fatigue can smother and then snuff out the life of the men and women behind the badge.
It's crucial for first responders to have a strong personal foundation, strong support systems, have access to excellent and vetted resources, and opportunities to decompress and rest. It is my goal to be able to help provide a beacon of light for those who either work as a first responder or love a first responder. As a firefighter and as a wife of a firefighter, I know first-hand what it's like to be physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted. I know what it's like to wrestle with the ghosts that I thought I had buried a long time ago. I know what it's like to be frustrated because of missed birthdays, non-stop phone calls, and feeling as if I am last in line for the attention of my loved one. I intimately know the life of a first responder and I deeply understand the perils that come with loving one.
I AM HERE TO TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Your Loss or Tragic
Circumstances
Don't Define You
Exposure to traumatic events can change the fabric of our life. We no longer see through rose colored glasses. Trauma and tragedy can either blur our vision or put things into a crystal clear view. Trauma changes our perspective. Loss makes us review what's truly important. These incredibly difficult experiences can either be the stepping point into becoming a stronger, more resilient and wise person, or they can send us into a spiral of self-destruction.
A tragic circumstance can change you, but it doesn't have to define you. It can make you a better person but it doesn't have to be a label that you wear. You can use an incredibly painful moment as a stepping stone into post-traumatic growth. Positive growth due to terrible situations can be incredibly powerful and can be a catalyst for significant change in the world. Some of the most significant organizations, institutions, and inventions came into fruition because of someone who experienced trauma and/or loss. You can use your grief and heartache to make a significant difference in the life of another.
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